I'm so glad!

Thank you fabuloso! Huhuhu...im on the top of the world on looking...lalalala.... so sayang...when you come back in June we go cheong k and shopping ok? My brother has always been so very supportive of me, since our younger days, he is always reminding me that I can do it. Now that you are so far away my dear brother, I hope that you are enjoying your independence and making most out of your life. To me, you are the best brother ever, always. And so are you sis! And I will always have so much faith in you both. So here's a toast all the way from Malaysia to the United Kingdom where you both are...Chinese New Year is coming up so let's "yam bui" in advance to good health, academic excellence, everlasting happiness and the three of us!

Bro and I in Dublin w our pint of Guinness
Us three during our trip to Hokkaido

A New Beginning

wow jie jie... read about ur uncertain participation in the Malaysian Dreamgirl occasion. have not read finish all the previous blogs yet but the Dreamgirl part caught my attention somehow. so wat is your decision? you are so gonna be over 'busied' if you happen to participate but this kind of thing is somewhat a once in a lifetime kinda thing. it would be good 'craic' to join though! you definitely have my full support as well. you can do it! i belive you have all the qualities required to go far in this sort of event. this is the end of my holidays btw... going back for classes starting tomoro. holidays has been fine.. got some rest at least. my friends in dublin gave me a belated christmas present, it is a polo jeans RL jumper.. with fur on the inside.. pretty nice to wear and is warm. yesterday was quite fun, the malaysian society organized a laser quest event where all of us had good fun... 13 of us shooting each other while running around pointlessly. after that we all had 'dim sum' at a restaurant and had a good chat. once in a while occasions like this lightens life up a lil. by the way the chinese association ppl requested me to become one of the emcees amongst four in the chinese new year event which will fall somewhere around the auspicious days. we are gonna have a discussion soon about phrases and points which we are gonna speak about during the grand occasion and i hope things will go fine. well thats me for the moment. will be blogging soon again and with classes starting off tomoro, i better buck up and pull up my socks! hopefully God will guide me and strengthen me while purging temptations along my path. love you all.

~Dreamgirl~

Today when I woke up, I was pleasantly surprised by an offline message from my sister asking me to go register for the Malaysian Dreamgirl event. Hmm.. I went to check it out immediately...Wah...me ar?(scratches head) Do you really think I can sis?? I know you do. Thank you for having so much faith in your jie jie. Me love you deep deep (muaxx). Even my sister had so much faith in me. Where has the faith and confidence in myself gone?

Malaysia is really following the footsteps of the West. First, Malaysian Idol and many more. Now even Malaysian Dreamgirl, which is basically the country's version of America's Next Top Model. I would have to register for an audition, then a closed audition where only 12 girls would be chosen and the whole once-in-a-lifetime experience. Or so they say. Oh, and the actual thing happens from March to May. Well, that is to near to my final exams hor? I start in June. What a great excuse for not participating ;-)

Only the bold and beautiful would be signing up for the event im sure. I do not even think I have the guts to be in the limelight 24/7, what more for 2 whole months, staying in the same place as 11 other girls. I have a mild psychiatric problem..social phobia. Basically, I get really scared when put face to face in front of a huge crowd of people , in this case..the whole of Malaysia probably...and im petrified at making a fool of myself. In front of everyone wor. How embarassing (blush) What if your voice cracks or there is some vegetables stuck in your teeth?

The judges said that its not about looks, it is all about the confidence. Something I still had to work on. And I don't believe that it is not about looks. It has always been about looks first. Anyway, at the end of the day, I don't think I will join lor. I just cannot bring myself to. I would rather spend the time doing something that does not involve self-consciousness, haha.

But the fact that my sister had so much faith in me from the start made me feel on top of the world and I felt that just based on the support I've gotten from her, I had won at least the first half of the battle. Sis, you really made my day today:-) Hugs

My sis and I at the foothills of Arthur's seat

Psychiatric Happiness.. Again

Spoke to this woman who had multiple personality disorder.

Sometimes she is Barbara, who is a child. She can also be Mandy who is a prostitute. But Jessica lives the high life of lots of sex, men, alcohol and shopping.

She is currently Barbara and is in no other place but the medium security psychiatric unit here.

Funny, funny.

Absolutely melodramatic and refers Susan and I as her 'girlfriends'. She says that she needs a female student to sit in with the consultant when he comes and talk to her because its a lot of 'female stuff' that the male consultant won't understand. And it is much much better for her mental health too.

Oh, and she hopes for us to go back and see her.

We are all friends now.

She also like chinese girls as they are all rich and carry LV bags which is really posh here. Oh, and chinese girls stays with their parents who pay their bills too. How rich.

Siao.

Not going to see her til Monday.

Oh by the way, did I mention she is also a man who underwent a sex change?

Blood stained sputum

Oh my goodness. I am afraid of contracting pulmonary tuberculosis (PTB). Last night, I had a very bad episode of cough and subsequently, my sputum /phlegm looking orangey in colour and I freaked out... Today, I told Dr.Irfan about my ordeal and he immediately asked me to get hold of his houseman and arrange for a chest X-ray and a sputum sample for acid-fast bacilli (to test for TB). Great. Thanks la. I wanted him to tell me "Oh, its most probably due to your bad cough, petechiae (tiny bleeds) only, you DO NOT have to worry". But no, he thinks I might have PTB (sobs).

Why me? Its not like I did not get my BCG injections. I had both the jabs, but I learnt in medical school that it only protects us from miliary TB (which is actually a disseminated form of TB that you get after a primary infection). So, what is the use of a herd-immunity (means everyone gets it) when it does not protect you from the primary infection? I would have thought that a primary infection was way more important. Well, apparently not right. And it does not help that I have been unwell for the past 2 weeks, so I am kind of immunocompromised (means my immune system is down) and coincidentally, I have to be attached to the respiratory ward. Which means, I am a great target for the dumb bacteria.

But Dato' Razak, one of our tutors, was really kind to give me a course of antibiotics last Monday and I am counting on it to cure me. My course is done tomorrow. Come on, it better work. I do not want to be diagnosed with TB and I do not want to be put on the RIPES therapy (rifampicin, isoniazid, pyrazinamide, ethambutol and streptomycin). I am confident that it was just petechiae. Anyway, my sputum has somewhat cleared up over the day.

So, if Dr. Irfan happens to ask me about my chest X-ray tomorrow, I will tell him that I did not do it and I do not think I have PTB. Oooo, defying a specialist's orders. Bad, bad of me. But hey, it is unnecessary radiation. It kills my healthy cells too. And why do it when I am well right? Hmm, ignorance is definitely bliss. And so is the state of denial. Afterall, I am...only human.

Fusion restaurants...

are too over-rated. Seriously. I was at Bequadro's, this Mexican, Italian and Spanish food cuisine restaurant for Dinesh's birthday celebration. The menu looked irresistably good, they even had risotto and paella. I was comtemplating which to order for a long time, and finally Jia Jia Binx chose the paella and I got the seafood risotto. I was starving, it better be good!

To my utter disappointment, my risotto turned out to be their "Italian" version of plain fried rice with cheese and cream. Man. They even had the nerve to use frozen mixed vegetables instead of fresh garden vegetables. For the price I paid, it was horrible. I even tried to enhance my dish with lots of parmesan cheese and black pepper. Did not help.

So, if you claim to be a fusion restaurant, your chef should be at least better than those in the other restaurants that only specialize in one cuisine ie Italian/Chinese/Spanish. I mean, you are familiar with 3 different types of cuisines. That is a great deal. But if all the dishes you produce are not even up to normal standards, then certainly being a master of one is better than a jack of all trades and master of none. And most of all the fusion restaurants I have visited are all the same. Well, maybe its their way of attracting more customers, a much greater variety of food, and all in one restaurant. However, the restaurant was empty except for our table and another that only came later on. So, maybe its to attract gullible people like us. Ha ha.

The only favourable outcome from the dinner was the company and the fact that it was Dinesh's bday. We had a fun time laughing and cracking jokes, heehee and Shafiq played his saxophone for the birthday boy. "Happy Birthday" and "Pink Panther". How sweet.


Denise, Dinesh and me

My housemate, Jia Jia

The whole gang, the 2 guys in front are Han& Wei Sern

Oh, darling Eunice did not come. She thought it was tomorrow. Sigh, nevermind,... we will celeb with her another time. Ok thats all for now dears, I have a endocrine presentation next week and I hate endocrinology...I have to go meet Denise later at her place to discuss the details (puke) and come up with our presentation, which has to be good.

Psychiatry

Based in Orchard Clinic, which is a medium security unit for the mentally ill. Medium security is a step down from the prison hospital where patients who are deemed a bit better but not safe enough to be left alone and needs constant monitoring. Most of them have some sort of forensic history, be it murder, assault, sexual offences or breach of peace.

The people here are quite scary. I managed to make an enemy for myself out of one of the patients, who said that the questions I asked him brought back too much memories of his past. He was trying to jump from a bridge for 3 days when the police finally managed to bring him down and I asked him what made him not jump. Apparently that question triggered his anger and he suddenly got very restless in the interview before standing up and saying that it was time for his methadone.

Not realising what was wrong, my partner and I told him that we will return later but when I returned the next day, the staff nurse told me that he had kicked a chair over and slammed down on the table the evening before.

This incident was then reported at the Clinical Team Meeting where the patient upon seeing me gestured towards me saying that I pushed too far.

-_-

Hello, my job okay. I HAVE TO ASK OK. Maybe I didn't sound to nice or whatever.

The consultant then told him that everyone is pushing at the same doors and that he has gotta learn to deal with it even when he goes out to the community in the future.

2 days later, I was in the Duty Room reading up his notes. The room is separated from the ward with a piece of glass so this patient saw me reading his notes, marched up to the door and demanded that, 'I do not want the student reading my notes!'

-_-

The nurse then took him aside and calmed him down before coming to tell me 'for goodness sakes' to go read his notes somewhere else.

-_-

Fine lor.
Jeez.

But as my flatmate tells it, these people are in there for a reason, they are mentally ill.

updating... its been a long time...

hey everybody!! its me fabian.. long time i have not shared my information and life ongoings...1st of all.. so happy that such a blog was initiated... we should have done this right from the beginning but its just as good now! the last time i mailed was before the 23rd of december.. thats was before i left for london..right of the night prior to my flight the following morning i had a palatable dinner with all my workmates (cuisine de france) in a restaurant called 'Bourbon'. pretty grand restaurant where i had a slice of tenderloin myself... the best of that night was that alcoholic drinks was bottomless... aha.. we all had loads of fun sharing each others stories despite nearly every1 else were much older(like late 30s so so)did not get a hangover the following morning though and in no time i was already in london.meeting up with some ol pals where we were able to mesmerize one anothers past times after quite a long time was great! during that night i dined with a friend of mine in the angus steak house... it was quite an expensive dinner being about 20 plus pounds perhead but the main problem lies on the meal being not satisfying enough... or maybe its just me. barely a day i stayed still, i hit the following day's noon bus to sheffield. xmas eve was pretty boring as all we had to do was playing monopoly, cards, chit chatting and as usual complemented with a couple of beers... xmas was wasted as i got out of bed after sunset(about 4). however it did not really bother me as there was nothing else to do and everywhere were closed out for the auspicious day anyway.boxing day was my chance to explore the shopping world of sheffield.. loads of ppl were on the same tract.however selection was quite limited and i only managed to get myself a hoody combined jacket. normal daily lifestyles went on before i hit the final bus to edinburgh. so happy to see rachel jie jie... edinburgh is extremely beautiful. the place just looked magnificent and classic with alot of history and heritage. had some karaoke with jie jie and her frens besides helping her to prepare her turkey despite i was not much of help besides providing strength to carry the turkey out of the oven at certain intervals. 'Haggis" was a new dish i tried and pretty good it was. probably we do have something similar over at my place just that they do not give it a name.. my place is overloaded with potatoes! i enjoyed my time in edin burgh very much... the hogmanay was spectacular as well just that i was a lil drunk that nite... could not manage to concentrate and appreciate the moment sufficiently... but is'nt it not suppose to be like this??not to mention the previous night was interesting as well.. there was an enormous 'hot' event there where they had hydrogen creature like balloons parading around, stages with dancing performances, being messed up by hair stylists and the highlight of the night was i suppose...'the Keeley dance'. not my first time though so certain moves i was a lil informed of and the crowd was huge. tammy's presence made the holiday more interesting as well... other stuff that jie jie brought me to check out was 'mussel inn' and 'chocolate cafe' if i did not named it wrongly. both these were totally new to me. the stay at jie jies place really enlightened me up and i definitely did not expect that much before not to mention jie jies hospitality as well. hoped i could have stayed there for a longer time bofore i remembered it was the end of my holiday.After arriving bakc to Belfast the girls were not really happy with the condition of the house.. and so was I! messed up! at least we had a cleaning spree with the rest of the house mates the subsequent day. i felt very bad throughout their stay here as i was not able to spend time with them besides during meals as i had to prepare for my examination. hopefully they showed themselves around well enough and seemed satisfied. the most miraculous day was the 2nd nite here where it snowed and snowed and snowed! never this has happened in Belfast since the past 5 years according to some locals... jie jie and Tammy's lucky moment here i guess. jie jie and Tammy were busy with her friend dining being well acquainted where me and my house mates rushed to the Lanyon buliding(university's main spot) to play snowfights with other malaysians and china friends... loads of fun it was! upon coming home we had snowfights with neighbours as well till my arm was hurting... however the white moments did not last too long... temperature fluctuated and everything was melting which all ended in the next two days... :( after their trip here has come to an end, it was my turn to begin hard core studyin... days were limited and the pressure was kicking in deeper and deeper... after 10 days of stress and sleeping disorientation i am now back to holiday state... :) prolly time for me to catch up with things and settle unfinished business... being the second day of holiday right now... i have not done much.. juz lazing around, playing computer games and drinking with frens.. all which seems a lil monotonous nowadays.. perhaps hopefully something new and fascinating will make its way into my life soonnn... thats all from me right now.. saw the dinner that mum, dad and stef jie had in shangrila.. must have been a nite to remember... love and miss all of you!!! :) love son and bro.

First, do no harm~

A recent article in The Star discussed about the social accountability of medical schools, having to accept responsibility for the shortcomings in the quality of graduates and their impact on healthcare delivery, particularly when it costs so much to train a doctor. Again, doctors who are incompetent but were allowed to graduate and given the approval to kill.
I think that it is not so much of the doctor's fault when the healthcare system in most countries, even the 1 st world ie Singapore are short handed. They are so worked out that from the initial aim of " I am here to cure you" it has now been degraded to " As long as the patient does not die". As the saying goes: First, do no harm. Hence, it does not mean that the doctor has to cure a patient, so long as the doctor keeps the patient alive until the consultant next comes and sees him/her, the doctor is safe.
Medical schools teach and guide you to be a SAFE doctor. Ultimately, we as students learn most of everything on our own. It is a self-directed learning process and unless the medical school puts in absolutely no effort at all in aiding its students, personally I do not think it is fair to blame just the medical schools. Students play a part too. Or maybe, its the duration of the course. 5 years is too long. Not to mention 6 years. Students get burnt out after a while. Hmm..
Oh and today.. I was in the cardiology wards and I overheard a houseman "counselling" a patient's wife about his medications. It went like this (with the Dr's hands waving all over the place):-
" No, no,no...there's no such thing as your husband refuses to take his medicine. So you think you can do what you like once you are outside the hospital is it?There is no excuses. You are his wife, you must force him to take la!"
The wife was looking very ashamed and asked when he can be discharged.
"Specialist only coming later la. You ask him then."
My goodness. He was so impolite. Wait, that is too nice a word, he was just downright rude and inconsiderate. Oh and the article included a part on attributes of the five-star doctor...
Ahem, I wonder how many stars was that doctor?

Big rich heavy meals..

are not for everyone. At least not everyday for 4 consecutive days.One satisfying feast is all it takes to curb your craving for the month. Everytime I go home, dad & mum insist on having good food every single meal as they imagine us starving ourselves when we are out on our own. It applies to all 3 of us, which reminds me.. hey fabs, joining us anytime soon? I hope so. During my recent trip home, dad asked me what I'd like to do for the new year and I replied that it would be nice to have a countdown event. And so...our big-hearted daddy went ahead and booked us 3 (me, Mum and himself) to the annual countdown party at Shangrila. And my oh my were there alot of foreigners! There were visitors from Scotland, Sweden, Norway, Toronto, Dubai etc. And they were all in gowns and tuxedos. I looked so plain in comparison. Well, the entry pass did not specify black tie event anyway.The party was extravagant.

So was the food. Not to mention the non-stop eating sprees we went on 2 nights prior to the party, indulging in Japanese buffets, seafood dinners and exotic Chinese food, goodness I hardly had any space left in my stomach. But well, of course, that was just an excuse. Upon feasting my eyes on the wide array of food selection, the past was forgotten. I was ravenous.















Dad & mum enjoying their champagne before the dinner















Food! They had Spider Crab (like the one in Hokkaido) of which dad gladly helped himself to

More food!

Well, all in all, the night was a blissful one. I went down and danced with mum to the likes of Abba ie Dancing Queen, and many others that were performed live by a Filipino band. Dad was afraid of bumping into Mr. Watsisname (MD of M&S) so he cheered for us from the 2nd floor instead.

Us in our party hats and headwear right before the countdown

The countdown was cool, with all the black and white balloons, confetti and party poppers. Oh ya, there were fake fireworks as well, just to make the celebration all complete. Im not complaining hehehe. There were several other photos I would have liked to post up but my request could not be processed or so the website says.
So that's all for now folks, tata!

La La La

I wish I had a good voice. Or went for training for that matter.

Today, I went to audition for my year's upcoming play - Joseph and the Amazing Multi Colour Lab Coat.

I randomly picked one song - Beatles "Let It Be". Obviously, it was mediocre cos firstly I was nervous (the whole panel were my year mates and I do not know them all that well, shall we call them acquaintances) and secondly I know that my singing voice isn't that great and thus did not have any great confidence to pull it off.

I was in with Faizi, one of my best friend here and he is vocally trained. After singing, I read this excerpt in a supposedly angry/unhinged manner and I do not thing I did too great on it either.
Where is my God given talent???

Anyway, after Faizi performed, he was offered a role immediately. But he is good. He goes for competitions and stuff and says that he has even sang in front of the Prime Minister and also joined Malaysian Idol up to top 30 or so when Paul Morris said his singing is good but not special enough. Or so he says.

Anyway, I am quite glad that I did it still because I would like to be involved in the musical but I do not know whether I would get in to be the chorus even. They did say that everyone who wants to be on stage is guaranteed to be on stage. And even if I do get to be on stage, I wonder whether I will enjoy it because the ang mohs can really sometimes favour their own selfs and I might be just cast into a dusty corner, more of a decoration than being a real part of the team.

But we'll see and I somehow wish that they would not have enough people so that I will be indispensable (muahahahhaha) and they will have no choice but to include me too.

Again, muahahahahahhaa

And So It Begins..

Hello? Anybody there?